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Statham spends half the movie running around in a hospital gown, and he still manages to look cool. In the latter sequence, Chelios casually crashes his car through the mall’s front doors while being chased by police, calmly talking to Doc Miles on his cell phone the entire time. “You saying this is medicinal use coke?” asks a skeptical associate when Chelios demands cocaine, then eagerly snorting it up from a dirty bathroom floor.Ĭrank consistently matches Chelios’ energy as he rampages across LA, raiding a convenience store where he steals energy drinks (and some flowers for Eve) and even storming a mall. He’s like the human equivalent of the bus in Speed, risking immediate death if he slows down for a moment.Ĭhelios does anything and everything he can to keep the action going, as do Neveldine and Taylor.
He immediately sets out to track down Verona, with seemingly every lowlife in LA (and half the city’s cops) tailing him. LionsgateĪ quick call to the shady Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam) gives Chelios the lowdown on his situation: The only way to delay the poison is through continued shots of adrenaline, the procurement of which appears to come naturally to a guy like Chelios. They’re too busy reveling in Crank’s ever-present stylistic quirks, from the POV shot to various onscreen graphics and zooming the camera all the way inside Chelios’ chest to show his weakening heart.Ĭhelios demands cocaine and then eagerly snorts it up from a dirty bathroom floor. The particulars of this plot aren’t all that important, and Neveldine and Taylor don’t spend too much time dwelling on details. He wakes up disoriented and sick, learning of his potentially fatal injection after playing a DVD labeled “Fuck you,” left behind by gangster Ricky Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo).Īs Ricky explains, he’s poisoned Chelios with a serum meant to kill him within an hour, as retaliation for Chelios’ failure to take out his most recent target. Chelios is introduced via a distorted POV shot, as if he’s a player dropped into the middle of a simulation and trying to figure out its rules. The Crank movies might be the best video-game movies not based on video games, using many familiar video-game elements to tell the story of Chelios’ quest for revenge.
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Luckily, both are streaming for free online.Ĭrank opens on the strains of Quiet Riot’s “Metal Health,” as the movie’s title is rendered in graphics that appear held over from an 8-bit video game. The brainchildren of demented writer-director duo Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, 2006’s Crank and 2009’s Crank: High Voltage have to be seen to be believed. Filled with dizzyingly nonstop violence, gore, sex, deviance, and generalized insanity, this high-octane duology bombards its audience, as if the movies themselves will wither and die if they don’t deliver stylish depravity at breakneck speeds. This same logic governs both movies starring Statham as Chelios. In other words: if Chelios doesn’t engage in constantly reckless behavior, he’ll end up dead.
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A hitman who gives up a life of crime to be with his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart), Chelios is rewarded for this change of heart by villains who inject him with an experimental poison, one that will kill him unless he can keep his body pumped full of adrenaline.
Jason Statham is ridiculously badass in many of his best-known roles, but none of the actor’s unhinged characters can claim to rival Chev Chelios.